Tell us about yourself, who you are and what you do?
My name is Jason and I’ve been living in London for 12 years. I went to art college and studied photography. I moved to London when I was 18. I’ve done various things, including managing a sex shop, working at King’s College, and working as a runner for music videos (including one of Madonna’s, when she was in her leotard). I’m also an illustrator and currently, I’m freelancing for a comedy company.
You’ve had an online presence for a little while now under the name Partwerewolf, where did that come from and how did it all start?
I was thinking about this the other day - the concept of Partwerewolf, where it comes from and what it means to me. I grabbed it from somewhere. I saw the ‘Part Wolf’ t-shirts and thought that was fun, then I was thinking about the whole gay thing of identifying yourself with an animal, and sick of being called a cub and an otter I was like fuck this, I’m going to be a wolf. Then I thought, what would be better than a wolf? A werewolf is even better because of the duality it implies. So I’ve been doing things under that name for a while, and I’m in the process of setting up a website. I don’t really know the purpose of it yet, however, so 2019 is the year I decide what the fuck I’m doing with this whole thing.
I’ve done amateur porn stuff that I’ve put out there, and Meat Magazine, so I’ve got these things that I’ve done, and they’re all part of what I do, but my goal is to figure out the end game.
Do you think posting nudes affects people’s perspective on personal sexuality and your relationship with sex?
For me, it certainly affected sex - I’m a lot more confident now. It’s funny, a lot of the people I’ve slept with have seen pictures of me beforehand, and I find that quite strange sometimes because I personally still like the ‘big reveal’, and they don’t have that now with me. That certainly affects those kinds of relationships. In terms of how porn and nude imagery affects my own personal sexuality away from sex itself, it can be quite destructive. When I was younger I was just watching Sean Cody videos all the time, and I’m not a 6 foot, tanned American jock. My first ex-boyfriend was really into young, skinny Polish boys and my second ex was into Sean Cody and Cockyboys models etc. That second relationship was quite a toxic one - a few times he pointed to other guys in the street and would say how he wished I looked like them. I think gay men, in particular, have a draw to things like this, like we must be the Calvin Klein model etc. And if you don’t fit into any of those moulds, you’re left behind and that sucks. So I think it can impact for sure.
I first came across you on Tumblr, which is now a dying platform. What did you think about the cull of ‘adult content’ and how did it impact you, if at all?
Partwerewolf became my main account and I started curating this nice, super visual space for myself. I was creating it for me to look at, and then it evolved into me posting some images of myself to see how that went. I have a lot of body issues and being on Tumblr helped me stay in control of what I was putting out there, and empowering myself a lot, due to how I was curating it all. My blog was 4 years old this year, and that’s a lot of hard work down the drain now. My content is now blocked, but when I go through Tumblr, I can still see pictures of my dick on there which aren’t flagged, and then there are pictures of a guy’s socks that HAVE been flagged. It’s so stupid.
The statement from Tumblr saying that adult content has no place on the platform anymore, that’s just bullshit.
We hope to see a time where nude images are normalised and we get that feeling from you too, is that why you produce nude images?
I think it’s for a lot of reasons. I think it’s partly knowing that people want to see it. I can monetise this if I wanted to, but it’s not just about me getting my dick out for money. Some of the videos I’ve put on PornHub I’ve put a lot of time and effort into making, editing them so things look good. I don’t want to be a wanker and say it’s all about artistic stuff but because of my background, and the only thing I’ve ever really been interested in was art, it’s more than just a picture of me naked.
A lot of people worry about their bodies and being naked. I still struggle going swimming, I don’t like taking my t-shirt off at a pool because that feels out of my control, because I can’t curate how I look. But at the same time, doing the video stuff, that for me was me pushing my boundaries, because I can’t control how every single still looks when you pause it, and my face is contorted in weird ways! It’s a way of letting go of some of that stuff. When I put the first picture out, I was terrified - it was a darkened image and you could just see the outline of my dick and I thought, ‘what have I done’, ‘it’s the end of my career’ but at the same time, I thought ‘fuck it, I’ve done it now’. The feelings I got out of doing it and the feelings of release from it being out there and it being out of my control, those were good feelings. It’s the same as you taking my photograph. I’m no longer in control of that.
Everyone is a little different, some stick to images in underwear, some with their arse out and others, like yourself, full frontal. Do you think your audience influenced you to take it all off?
I did get a lot of questions on Tumblr when I was first posting pictures of me in just my underwear saying ’show more, show more’. I used to do Cam4 stuff quite a lot too, and I wanted to get the phrase ’show hole’ printed on a shirt, because that’s what I would get from people all the time. I find people’s want to dive straight into that quite interesting. For a long time, just posting pictures in my pants, I knew I was teasing people quite a lot, and that was fun. But I definitely think the audience I have, I don’t feel pushed, but I know that if I do it I’ll get a nice response. It’s always walking a fine line of, ‘am I doing this for the wrong reasons?’ And that’s always been the mentality I’ve had. To make sure I’m not doing this for the wrong reasons. I have a habit of doing things for quick validation. That is damaging, so I try and control those feelings and focus on what will help me feel positive for a longer period of time.
Why do you think people are so afraid of seeing a naked body?
For me, I was always taught that everyone should be clothed all the time. When I was quite young I always liked running around naked or in my wellington boots, and that was frowned upon. It’s shame. Everyone has this built-in shame of showing their body, because we’re taught it’s bad from a young age. People who find nudity offensive probably have a lot of issues themselves about nudity. I’m not saying everyone should adopt a naturist lifestyle or anything like that though. There are obviously people who don’t want to see it, but how do you make sure those people don’t see it and those who do want to see it can? And how can you do that in a way where the people who are taking their clothes off don’t feel as though they’re being oppressed like we currently are?
I find it so funny now that I feel less able to do what I’m doing because Tumblr is gone. Instagram is being way more restrictive than I ever thought it was going to be. What the fuck else is there I can do? It feels like it’s closing in on everyone. I believe it's to do with shame. It’s like we’re going backwards rather than forwards.
How does your sexuality manifest, aside from taking images?
For me, the things I’ve always been really into sexually are armpits and being choked. Everything else I’m fine with, but I don’t have a preference for. I get really frustrated with people who define their personalities with being a top or bottom. Don’t make me define myself by that. A lot of people think sex is this one thing or this one act when it’s actually a lot of different things to different people.
A lot of the clothes I buy manifest it in a way, maybe… I have a certain fetishised image of the clothes I like on people, but that’s not really definitive of me. Same for tattoos, but I wouldn’t call it a fetish, it’s more of an interest. I guess it’s slightly fetishising the people who used to beat me up. I was once at work and I walked through to the toilet and I could smell Lynx Africa, and that smell incited horror in me because it instantly makes me think that I’m about to be beaten up. Even though I hate that smell, and it’s not a nice memory, I’ve taken bits of it and kind of turned them round to be like, ‘okay, I found being choked really horrible, but now I’m going to be okay with it’. I don’t want to say it’s like ‘reclaiming violence’ or anything because that sounds really dark and it’s not really what I mean, but it’s like, I’m okay in expressing myself in those ways, in a very consensual way, especially choking - when it’s done in a consensual way and I know I can tap out whenever I want to, you feel very close to someone when you can do that with them. And when it does happen and it’s with someone I trust 100% and I know I’m safe, it sometimes feels almost like I’m playing out this violent fantasy.
I find that I have a very weird relationship with violence and how it fits into my life, but also for a gay man, even now I don’t think I’ve ever held hands with a boyfriend in the street for a long period of time, and even walking next to a friend, I’m still scared that people might think we’re gay and there’ll be consequences because of that. There’s always going to be that fear as an LGBT+ person.
You’re very open. Why is it important for others to own their sexuality and celebrate it without judgment of others?
Visibility is a thing that I believe does push progression forward. When you look at sexuality and gender, pushing hard for progression works. Look at the trans* community, they're more visible now than they have ever been, but they’re still nowhere near visible enough. They should be a full part of our society just like anyone else is. A lot of work has been done to push that, but more should be done to celebrate these people.
Everyone needs to be fighting to push forward, and there are certain ways of doing that. Obviously, the way I'm trying to do that isn’t going to get a huge audience, and it’s not going to change my mother’s mind for example. She voted for Brexit, and me getting my dick out isn’t going to change her mind on things, but a lot of people pushing to be free and open, in a consensual and safe way, brings more change about.
I have struggled for years with being gay. There are still days where if someone offered me a pill to ‘make me straight’, I’d take it because I find gay relationships so difficult, I find gay men difficult. But at the same time, I know the things I find difficult are also the things I like a lot about being gay. Living my adult life now, from the age of 18, as gay has shown me that it is possible to be this way and to be happy, and the process of getting photographs taken, and the porn stuff, it makes me feel okay with myself. I’m taking it back from everyone that’s ever taken it from me before. Everyone that has been remotely abusive, I’ve pulled it back from them and I’m being like, ‘fuck you all, I’m still here and not only am I still here, I’m shouting it louder than ever before’.
Jason can be found online through his username Partwerewolf. See links below for direct access to his content.
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